These Conversations Are Hard!

We want to acknowledge how difficult the conversations around these ten topics can be. While we know these are crucial areas to explore with a partner(s)…that doesn’t mean these talks will feel easy or natural. If you are feeling slightly intimidated or hesitant to dive in to some of these topics, know you are not alone AND there are probably some good reasons for that that we want to address:

It Hasn’t Gone Well In the Past. Many folks avoid these conversations because in the past when they’ve tried to bring it up…it has turned into a fight or a stalemate pretty quickly. Nerves around bringing it up again are understandable. That’s why we show you exactly what to talk about so you have the best chances of having productive and meaningful conversations.

Your Attachment Styles Are Activated. Everyone has an attachment style, and if you are like most, your attachment style isn’t always helpful in communicating what you feel/need/think/etc. Attachment styles are fancy ways of explaining why we communicate the way we do (some of us shut down, some of us get anxious, some of us feel overwhelmed, some of us find it hard to trust, etc. etc.). These styles are often activated or triggered during conflict or stressful situations which may be why these topics have been hard to talk about. That is exactly why provide self regulation coping skills and processing coping skills for you to use throughout the course! There are also resources you'll find at the end of the course if you find yourself wanting additional support in any topic.

Trauma. While exploring these conversations, unresolved trauma or trauma you may be healing from may be triggered. If you have a history of trauma, talk with your partner(s) about what to do in the event your trauma becomes triggered during this course. What would feel supportive? What has helped in the past? We suggest taking breaks, skipping the section for now and/or bring it up in therapy. Again, please use the coping skill sections and resources not just as we suggest, but as you need through out the course...you know yourself best!

**Important**

If any part of your relationship feels unsafe right now (emotionally, mentally, verbally, physically or sexually) do not do this course. This course is meant to create opportunities for vulnerability, empathy and connection. None of those things are possible if your relationship lacks safety in any way. Being vulnerable or trying to have difficult conversations in unsafe relationships can actually make things even more unsafe or abusive. If you need support or help getting out of an unsafe relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline available 24/7: 800-799-7233